Why beauty doesn’t matter

Today I am so sick about the world. How ugly it is. How brutal it is. How we are infinitely engulfed in a cycle of developing cheaply for novelty and short meaningless unshared unsacred pleasures. It truly breaks my spirit. I’m in this world, this life, just like you, just like everyone else making the best of what is. Finding love and beauty in what surrounds us. In the choices that have been made for us. In the houses built by others, in the cities responding to the cheapest, easiest, and loudest demands. Yielding to utility. Operated by those that found a way and a reason to say yes to the insidious corruption that catapults us to make decisions that separate us and embolden our boundaries. That separates our souls. That leads us to days like today when I sigh and cry and feel the weight of my sorry heart in my chest and detest the thoughts and decisions I’ve made in this world that continue the cycle that I’m existing in.  

 

Bland walls.

Cheap reprinted art.

 Remind me of the reasons why I simply can’t do this

Why I shouldn’t do that

Why God is dead and inspiration useless and fleeting

Why I find difficulty in all the right places and ease in the wrong ones

Why it’s so HARD to find value and love, friendships and relationships

Why it’s so hard to instill these values in mass

Why it’s so hard to communicate it vulnerably with others

Why art is ironic and senseless

Why bodies are pornographic

Why beauty doesn’t matter

 

I cry because I am desperate to hold on to the small unformed unfinished ideals within me

Because I want to be loved in the way I crave to love the world the four walls and the people surrounding me

I want to be art, I want to love art, I want to be surrounded by beauty and a pure desirous symbiotically selfish love

 

I want the way I love the world to be celebrated because…I think it’s good and honest and virtuous. I think it feeds the soul and starves our shame, mediocrity, and smallness

 

It is disgusted by the cheap and entranced by the magnificent 

 

It hates the lie and seeks the truth

 

It understands that often beauty is created in time and is as timeless as the natural beauty in the trees the sun the moon and the stars that stun us whenever we simply take the time to look

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